Is Balance a Fallacy?
I promised myself that I would not be a person who presents a glorified image on the internet. I want to share from an honest, vulnerable place: I’ve been feeling really anxious this week, and I started asking myself: is balance a fallacy? Read on if you want to know more!
Ridin’ Solo
Yesterday was one of those days when all the fears came to me: “Can I really do this?”
Yes, I still have those doubts and insecurities. And I know that’s okay.
I think what few people know is that this lifestyle can feel pretty lonely at times. Not only am I a solo-traveler, but I’m also a solopreneur. I’m so used to being by myself & relying on myself, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.
It can be hard to find the balance between travel, business, maintaining a healthy lifestyle (mental and physical), and caring for my relationships.
I’m completely grateful to have chosen this life and to be the creator of it. But it’s also scary: and that’s normal. Not allowing myself to admit this is simply unhealthy.
The Art of Not Fitting In
Since I don’t like to stay in digital nomad bubbles, I always try to hang out with locals as well. But wherever I go, most people already have their lives. Whenever I leave, I leave people behind. That’s just the reality, and I choose that reality. Sometimes it feels like there’s no one and no place to go.
On those days, I really miss the Swahili Coast. Everything there makes me feel better.
But I want to find security in myself. I want to trust myself that things will work out the way I want them to as long as I believe in my vision, love and community.
All I can do is keep going and rely on my routines; working out, journaling, meditating, reading & doing the work… Reprogramming my subconscious, stepping into the unknown and learning what’s needed to move me forward.
What gives me security? I have to focus on the now. On today. That I’m safe and sound. That I enjoy what I’m doing.
Freedom Above All
If this lifestyle has taught me anything, it’s that you have to be extremely disciplined, because creating and running a business in constant instability requires discipline.
But I’ve also found that sometimes it’s okay to let go a little bit. To sleep in if you need to, or take a few days off.
Above all, I created this life because I wanted freedom. Freedom of time and place. And I know sometimes there’s less of it, sometimes there’s more; but I didn’t leave my 9–5 to find myself on autopilot, day in and day out, in the same spiral. And I remind myself of that all the time.
5 Tips that Can Help on Days Like This
What I found is that on days like this, the most important thing is to meet myself with self-compassion. Those things really help me:
- Journaling
- Meditation
- Making some comfort food
- Talking to a loved one
- Spending time in nature
Lastly: it’s really okay to feel this way sometimes, knowing that it will pass. It’s all part of the journey.
I heard this quote on one of my favorite podcasts today:
“We often don’t get the things that we want, but that we need in order to grow.” — Ina Hippold
And that is very true. The fact is, there will always be chaos in life, and it’s the instability that makes us grow — because that’s when we leave our comfort zone.
Exposing yourself to instability is a brave choice, but the only one I am willing to make all over again.
So maybe, balance is a fallacy after all. What do you think? Leave a comment or drop me a DM!
