I Have Found Myself — What Now?
I don’t want to sound theatrical, but 2.6 years ago I changed my life. I changed myself. And most importantly, I found myself. But what does that mean?
I would say the least when I say that the last 2.6 years have been a wild ride. Sometimes when I look back, I can’t believe what has happened. And those 2.6 years are divided into their own little chapters that all add up to one big story. A story that has yet to be written. A story that is so imperfectly perfect.
I proved to myself that I could do it. I proved to myself that my vision can survive, that it can be sustained. That IT WORKS. And I now know that life is not about proofing something.
Looking at my upcoming visit to Germany in 2 months, there’s a lot I’m thinking and feeling. For the last years, I had little desire to visit Germany. I used to avoid being there for reasons like people telling me to move back, get a corporate job, and take life seriously. So I had a choice to go or be in a place where I feel more like I belong. It’s an energy thing.
But I’m starting to get a little excited about this trip and especially seeing my family. And it feels different. I’m visiting with confidence and not with self-doubt.
Do you know the one person who can really deny you your dreams? It’s you.
I had to gain a lot of confidence to live my life the way I do. I still have to do that every day. Every day is an invitation to manage my energy, to be clear about my priorities, and to keep believing in my vision and trusting my intuition.
But there’s a big difference now compared to a few years ago: I believe in myself now. I now know what’s possible.
I’m not the same person I was before. Even though there are still so many doubts and insecurities, and sometimes it just feels like it’s too much to handle, I’m proud of the reality I’ve created, and I’m proud of the person I’ve become.
I know so many more things now, I’ve opened my mind and heart to new possibilities and perspectives, and I’m growing with new challenges every day.
Yesterday, someone told me:
“You have found yourself. Now you can decide what you want to do with it.”
I always thought finding myself would feel more “profound”.
Or that I am at a certain age or milestone in my life.
And my imposter always wants me to play small: “Can you really build this business? Are you really expert enough to talk about this subject?”
There are still so many things I don’t know or feel I haven’t accomplished yet. But I know it’s not about that — that would mean you’ll probably never find yourself because there could always be more or something else “missing”.
I think I have found myself. Some time ago. When I realized that I was living my dream, when I realized that what got me there was following my intuition relentlessly, when I started to allow myself to demand more from my own life.
Giving up is not an option
I still have so many moments where I’m tempted to “give up”. But I know it’s normal, it’s part of it.
After talking to one of my friends the other day who told me that even after running her online business successfully for 4 years, she still feels like giving up sometimes, I found some confidence in uncertainty.
I know that in these moments, more than ever, I need to remind myself of my “why”. To really understand what has brought me to where I am and why it’s all worth it. To be my bravest self so that I can do the work I’m called to do.
Earlier, I was reminded that before taking the leap 2.6 years ago, I was on vacation with my mum in Greece. I remembered how desperate I was to go overseas to Kenya for a project that wasn’t going to work out. I remembered how desperately I wanted to stay on the island longer, but I told myself it wasn’t possible. And I remembered how, not long after, I began to make all these things possible.
Sometimes we have to acknowledge our own accomplishments. It’s not about bragging, it’s about fully understanding yourself. And that you are where you are for a reason: sometimes it just takes longer, sometimes we have to jump, sometimes we just have to take a step.
But the most important thing is to believe in your power to make it happen.
Have you found yourself?
