Are You Ready To Sit in Discomfort?

It turns out that this time of year is always the most transformative for me, a trend that seems to have continued over the past 2 years to the present. I don’t think I’m the only one — the year is coming to an end, and for many of us there are decisions to be made if we’re going to make a move.

But change is scary and uncomfortable. Change means leaving your comfort zone and stepping into the unknown, and suddenly we feel all those insecurities and fears of failure.

But there is a point where we can’t ignore our inner voice any longer, a point where the desire to act becomes too strong (“Suffering arises between knowledge and action” — @Ina Hippold).

So, today, I want to talk about exactly this, and provide you with 10 tips, how you can move through the discomfort of change.

The Balance Between Empowerment and Fear

“And then I just quit my job.” — I read this a lot on social media. And yes, I have “just quit” a job before. Yes, I have made major decisions in the blink of an eye. But to be honest, it’s never “just quitting”. Whether it’s about a job, a relationship, a friendship, a habit or the city you live in. The decision to change always involves internal thought and emotional processes.

Quitting can be easy. I stopped smoking from one day to the next and never looked back. But quitting can also be really hard. Why is that?

Here are 5 reasons:

1. COMFORT ZONE: Our comfort zone acts as a psychological barrier that often impedes our willingness to embrace change. It provides a sense of security, and familiarity, creating a protective bubble where the known outweighs the unknown. But change only happens when you get out of your comfort zone and are willing to challenge the status quo.
2. PESSIMISTIC WORLDVIEW THAT BOOSTS YOUR FEARS: Many of us have a tendency to focus on the negative and always expect the worst outcome possible. But by boosting your fears of failure, judgement, and the unknown, you will be less likely to change.
3. SOCIAL CIRCLE: Who you surround yourself with is crucial in times of change. If your current friends, family or partners discourage change, you may find it harder to follow your inner knowing. Especially if this inner knowing goes against social expectations or conformity with your environment. This can easily lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, and keep you stuck in your comfort zone.
4. IDENTITY & PROCRASTINATION: In times of change, we begin to question and challenge our status quo, especially about ourselves. While this is absolutely necessary, it can easily lead to identity struggles. And that in turn can lead to self-judgement, which prevents us from acting.
5. SCARCITY MINDSET: Many of us focus too much on scarcity instead of abundance, which can be a barrier to change. This can be expressed in a number of ways:

• (Job) Opportunities: Believing that they don’t exist and that once you decide to quit, you will be unemployed.
• Money: A poor money mindset can give you the feeling that your current job is the only way to make money. It can also be expressed in the feeling that you first need to have X amount of money in your bank account before you can quit.
• Self-Worth: Disbelief in one’s right to receive more, and blaming oneself for asking for more as a mistaken expression of ungratefulness.
• Qualification: Disbelief in one’s own abilities through unhealthy social comparisons can reinforce feelings of “I’m not talented enough” rather than: “What do I need to do in order to get better?”.

This list is based on my own personal experience. I have lived through ALL of them, and I am still confronted with them. I don’t see it as something negative, because it’s what makes us human. But I want to show you how important it is to be aware of your own barriers, because awareness can change your mindset. And once you change your mindset and the thoughts you have about yourself, literally anything is possible. That’s why Buddha’s famous quote: “We are what we think” is so true.

The Discomfort of Choosing Yourself

So, eventually you moved through those blocks, and you made the decision to quit. Congratulations! That is something to be proud of. Because quitting always means choosing yourself and choosing something better for yourself.

But here’s the thing: sitting out a decision that feels intuitively right to you but doesn’t make sense objectively, is going to be UNCOMFORTABLE.

Even though it is challenging, I deeply believe that following your intuitive feeling to move on, will always bring you onto the right path. Why is that?

Move with Knowledge, Not Control

If you quit, you make space for change. You let go of something, and you invite something else in.

From my point of view, quitting without objective safety or security can sometimes be the best thing you can do energetically. Because you are moving in alignment with YOURSELF. Because you listen to your intuition that there is something you want to change, and you stop fighting it. You move from resentment and negativity to self-belief and trust. You move from self-denial to self-belief.

You are showing the Universe that you are ready, ready to attract more. And you will ATTRACT more. Because you’re making room for it.

And that’s why control and knowing are not the same thing. The key is to find a sense of control within your knowing. What can help you?

10 Tips How You can Move Through Uncertainty Today:

1. START WITH MINI STEPS: Make an appointment to talk to someone who inspires you, or apply for one job at a time. It is important to ACT in some way so that you can move out of the feeling of being stuck.
2. CHALLENGE YOUR MINDSET: Whenever you encounter a belief that no longer serves you, try to understand where it comes from and challenge it with something that helps you move forward.
3. SELF-AFFIRMATIONS: Hold yourself accountable for your dreams by writing them down: this can be done in a journal or on your phone.
4. VISUALIZE: The more succinctly you can imagine your future, the more likely you are to attain it. It doesn’t have to be very detailed, it can be along the lines of “How do I feel?”.
5. SEEK SUPPORT: Working with a coach is always helpful. Don’t isolate yourself, and start building a network (personal and/or professional). You need to get yourself into rooms with people you aspire to. This is extremely important because they are living proof that your dreams are attainable! You can also set up regular accountability calls with a friend.
6. PATIENCE & TRUST: Trust is THE MAIN thing that has helped me through times of change. Trust that all that is meant for you will come to you in divine timing.
7. YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT: You already do a lot. And something has brought you to where you are today. It is very important to remember these things and to embrace the journey.
8. INVEST IN YOURSELF: Invest in your physical and mental health, personal growth and development. Is there anything you can learn today that will help you on your journey?
9. ACCEPTANCE: Accept that there is perfection in imperfection and that your path is unique in its own way. Accept that there will be things you don’t like or that don’t go as planned.
10. DON’T FORCE: Let go of control, as you move through the process. Trust your knowing.

Whatever change you are facing at the moment, please be assured that change is uncomfortable and scary for everyone. But it will eventually become easier to deal with discomfort and uncertainty. Why is that?

Because you learn to trust yourself and your ability to move forward. Your ability to grasp new opportunities, opportunities that feel more aligned with your inner gift. I hope these tips and reflections are helpful.