Are You Afraid To Be Seen Trying?*
This is the title of an episode of one of my favorite podcasts, “Beyond the Self” by Africa Brooke, that I listened to today — and as always, it hit the nail on the head. According to numerology, 2024 is about visibility. And I couldn’t feel that more. But the biggest challenge right now is my own fear of being seen trying. Do you know this feeling? Then read on…
It’s Not About Being An Expert Already, It’s About Getting There
The other day I heard someone saying:
“It’s not about being an expert already, but sharing your journey of getting there.”
And that hit a spot.
I write a lot about change and the self, but I’ve noticed that I’m still holding myself back sometimes from sharing in an honest and vulnerable way. That I’m still afraid of being seen trying.
I have gone through many major life changes in the last two years, and I think my nervous system is still adjusting. More than that, I realized how much I am still attached to my old self, holding on to limiting beliefs, struggling to always find myself “in between”.
And that’s okay — after all, I’ve been using this old system for 27 years. And now, suddenly, there was a software update that needed to be installed. But more than ever, I am ready to use the new features.
I want to share my journey because if there is one thing that has given me strength over the past few years, it is hearing other people’s stories. And by that I mean different parts of the journey, not just the perfect parts. Knowing how much authenticity and vulnerability have helped me is the reason why I want to do the same.
“Maybe One Day”
I clearly remember writing in my journal 4 years ago that I wanted to be a coach. I’ve always had a passion for the self-development field, and that day the clarity came through so strongly.
At the time, I was working as a copywriter for a health tech startup that worked with online fitness and nutrition coaches. I admired how these people created a personal brand around themselves by doing something they loved. I loved digging into their stories and their transformations. But I didn’t connect the dots between me writing down my desire to become a coach and my fascination with the coaches I was working with.
My horizon of possibilities was pretty narrow. I told myself: “Maybe one day when I’m experienced enough”.
So I kept working as a copywriter — even though it didn’t feel 100% right. I didn’t really know what else to do. And I’m not angry about it. I never thought I would work in marketing, but I did. I became a copywriter more by accident than by choice, but it turned out to be a great accident.
Is It Comfort or Patience?
Sometimes things take time. It can be good to be patient and decide what you want out of a situation. And when the time is right to make a move, to JUMP.
We don’t always grow by conscious choice, but by exposing ourselves to an environment that challenges us. But as soon as the learning becomes less, we have to decide: are we just being comfortable or do we need to be patient right now? And that’s probably the balancing act I’ve had to learn over the last few years.
I will forever be grateful for copywriting because it opened up the world of online work to me — the world I always wanted to have access to, so I created my own door.
But my soul was calling for something else.
A Whole New World
The full spectrum of online coaches only opened up to me last year when I started using Instagram more actively and exposed myself to what’s out there. Suddenly I was hearing terms like “mastermind” or “container” for the first time, and learning more about what it means to build your own brand. I started following coaches or people who had something interesting to say, signed up for as many free classes/courses as I could, and enrolled in an online coaching academy (which ends in a month — exciting!).
As much as the online world can be overwhelming, exposing myself to this field that I so desperately wanted to be a part of helped me broaden my perception of what was possible, and most importantly, that it was possible for me.
2024 is About Visibility
The other day, a friend of mine said:
“You keep waiting for yourself.”
And that also hit a spot.
In spite of all this exposure, I kept on waiting. For myself. Because I still don’t fully believe in myself. That all these people know what they’re doing, and I don’t.
I have invested time and energy in many things, but rarely in changing these beliefs. And so I haven’t moved in certain areas.
But I have moved in others. Over the last year, I started showing up consistently on Instagram, sharing things I never would have shared before, and I realized that writing from my soul always resonates. I started to see my page as my personal project, and people started asking me questions, telling me that I’m their inspiration. And I suddenly realized that I actually have something to say; a voice to share. And I will work, and study relentlessly to get better day by day, so I can serve people at my best.
I don’t think it’s about knowing or being an expert in everything. I think that’s delusional anyway. It’s about going where you’re excited; doing it YOUR way — it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing.
Speaking It Into Existence
This is to share that I am in the process of building my coaching business: as a life and CrossFit coach. I admit that most of the time I have no idea about the “how” and that I’m still struggling with my imposter. That I’m scared and worried. That I’m human, after all.
Nothing has ever felt better. I know that this is what I’m called to do.
In all honesty, I have no idea what lies ahead of me. But I know it’s time to go for it. And 2024 is the year to do so (and beyond, of course).
I’m afraid of being judged, and I’m afraid of being visible. But I will do it anyway.
So whoever is afraid of being seen trying, you are not alone. Send me a message or drop a comment, I’m happy to hear from you!
*https://africabrooke.com/podcast/070-dont-be-afraid-to-be-seen-trying
