A Different Type of Love

It’s the…

Sparkle in his eye when he looks at me.

The childishness in the way he shows affection, the avoidant, non-admitting, non-committal way of liking me.

The way he would have never been able to be with me, while we could never be apart.

The way he can trust and rely on me while he can’t show vulnerability.

It’s the unique paradoxes that made everything difficult and hard to love, while there was never a doubt that this is love.

A different one — the one that needs to come with no expectation, no attachment and freedom in letting go. Freedom in letting him be free; all over again.

And I started to love him exactly for that. It’s a tough love, the love that’s so intense & real now and gone in the next moment, while nothing could be that real.

I started to learn how different love can be and what that means, and this story was exactly this: a different type of love, hidden but pure, something I’ll always remember and keep in my heart while probably never going back to it.

A tear is running down my face while I’m writing this.

But there’s so much beauty in acceptance, appreciation, in coming back home to myself after all and foremost — grateful for this feeling of wholeness when we’re together and that it’s the only thing that matters.